Red ribbon
falls from your mouth
down towards the ground
where it wells up
a small puddle
reflecting
a fading sunset
across the tops
of tall vacant trees
older than me.
– matt at shadow of iris
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This was short, simple, and nearly perfect. i loved the images brought about by this poem. Thank you for sharing.
This poem smacks it down, brilliant. Perfect, really.
Thank you so much, Robert and Terresa. When I posted this, I was concerned that no one might get it, so your comments are really gratifying to me.
Some poems I read and think “i understand –yeah”; some I chance upon and think “What?!”; others I read and just say “cool”. Yours I read and ponder upon “this is absolutely insightful” This is so far my favorite, perfect tightening of the lines, phrasing and the last line which we call in poetry “the poetic twist”. Thanks for the share, matt.
Thank you, arian, I really appreciate your comment!