Category Archives: meditations
if I could
If I could
I would write a poem
that paints a picture
that says a thousand words
in less than that.
– matt at shadow of iris
If I could
I would write a poem
that paints a picture
that says a thousand words
in less than that.
– matt at shadow of iris
Better to be
a fly in the ointment
than
a cog in the machine.
– matt at shadow of iris
“Poetry is the opening and closing of a door, leaving those who look through to guess about what is seen during a moment.”
– Carl Sandburg
I want a room
where I can wink out
and wink back in.
What I mean is this
at the blink of an eye
I’d like to be able disappear
for a fraction of time
so small
no one would ever notice
I was gone.
During this time
I’d go to my own special place
a small comfortable room
with a fireplace perhaps
or a window over looking a pleasant garden
and in this room
there would be
books upon books upon books
about anything I could possibly
want to read about
on shelves stacked up high
all around me.
In this room
time would stand still
relative to real time
so that I could
collect my thoughts
study my situation
or even take a nap
then return back
when I was ready
to where I had just been
prior to winking out.
Imagine the cute ripostes
I could make
or the errors
I could avoid
had I just such a place.
– matt at shadow of iris
The following was written by me as a comment on this post at Peanuts and Bubblegum, a really neat and fun blog:
I look at it a bit like this — and of course, there’s no need for you to agree — we are each sending out spotlights to see what’s out there. If there were no truth (or reality) those spotlights wouldn’t reflect off anything. It’d just be a cold meaningless blackness.
But it’s not. Our spotlights pick up all kinds of wonderful, beautiful images when we look to see what’s out there. Only each spotlight is picking up but one narrow aspect of all that’s out there to be seen. And where we make the mistake is when one person thinks what his spotlight reveals is the whole thing, the whole truth. Even to the point of thinking someone else’s spotlight just can’t be right, because it isn’t his or hers.
If I say the world’s flat, there’s a little bit of truth in that, isn’t there? I mean it certainly looks that way. Just like no spotlight ever gets the whole truth, most of them are picking up at least some bit of truth.
I think artists are in the business of creating more and more spotlights. Highlighting this one or that one, fixing up this one, dusting off another, just trying to catch as much as they can of all the wonderful truth that is out there to be shined upon.
There are those practical people whose business is to determine which spotlight is best for which problem, and which spotlight is more limited than another, and how to classify spotlights and so on, but I don’t see that as the artist’s job, necessarily. The artists just has to keep revealing more and more, as much as they can, of all the beautiful and radiant truth that is out there to be seen.
Having written this much, I guess, I’ll throw this up at my blog …
Any opinions! Please comment.
Kitty,
As you write so many kind comments on this blog, I feel I must share this with you. A lot of people who play with words probably think of themselves as expressionists. They are trying to reach down deep and describe what’s truly there. I would not begrudge anyone this effort. On occasion, perhaps I attempt this as well, however humbly. But what I really want to be is a creationist. I want to to create feelings and moods, tones and colors, images and pictures. Then if I happen by chance and fortune to create something pleasant, I hope it goes viral and spreads and makes peoples’ days a little more bearable or happy.
– matt at shadow of iris
The psychological state of being in love could be described as an obsession complex.
– C.G. Jung
The key part of this sentence is the “could be”.

When I was a child we used to climb down into the storm drains and go under the street. One side to the other. You couldn’t pay me to do that now. Back then you couldn’t pay me not to. What happened in between?
– matt at shadow of iris
[Here is an open letter to Agent Snowflake who has responded to me at her blog here. There is room here for future essays. Even if you aren't Agent Snowflake, please comment ... my children are waking up and I have to run ...]
Dear Agent Snowflake,
Isaac Newton’s law of gravity have now been superseded by Einstein’s.
It seems clear that Newton’s laws are not a true reflection of the way the universe is. Especially not as Newton conceived of them.
Now, not only are Newton’s laws flawed, being inferior to Einstein’s, these laws for Newton represented a great deal of his religious faith. His strong belief in a creator who created the world in a particular manner.
So how is one to read Newton?
I don’t know, I guess it depends on what you are looking for.
One thing is certain, Newton’s laws are what got us to the moon, not Einstein’s.
So here we have the flawed ideas of a sort of religious fanatic taking us to the moon? How does that work?
Well, one point is that despite being imperfect, and despite being motivated by religious concerns, Newton’s laws do seem to be telling us something (like how to get to the moon). While Newton probably didn’t have going to the moon on his mind, he must have sensed the importance of his ideas. That they were *greater* than he was in some sense.
I think its vitally important that we all recognize that ideas are independent of their creators.
When I write, generally I am not attempting to write about myself in any direct sense. I mean, it goes without saying what I write does reflect a lot of about me, just like Newton’s ideas reflect a lot about him. But my point is, there’s more there than that, and it’s that *more* that’s important to me. If I am successful at some point, I want to write something that supersedes me. (I’m not claiming I’ve done this, it’s not for me to say. I will say that I’m just getting warmed up here. I’ve barely set my big toe into the tepid water so far as this blog is concerned. Give me some time.)
Finally, on another point, regarding negativity, suffering, darkness and so on. My mind does seem to catch a lot of images like this. Not so much as someone who is obsessed with grossness or slasher films (as I find stuff like that distasteful) but sadness and pain. I’m not entirely sure why that is myself. I don’t think it reflects my own life.
One image, if you haven’t encountered it before, that you might want to explore is the image of the bodhisattva. As I understand it, the bodhisattva is an individual who was about to attain enlightenment and as such obtain eternal bliss. However, rather than move towards the final stage, the bodhisattva elects to remain on earth so as to help others free themselves of their own suffering. This is a beautiful image, but not one free of pain or suffering. In fact, the bodhisattva like Jesus seems to actually embrace suffering.
The truth is what it is.
You know, too many people are their own tyrants. Sort of a tyrant of one. (I include myself.) We shouldn’t rule too hard over our emotions, nor should we seek to reinforce some particular emotion over another. What we should seek is truth, and in that pursuit hopefully our emotions will fall into place. You can’t seek truth via reinforcement. It just doesn’t work that way. I regard the path of the artist as one of seeking truth through creative acts that reveal the world to us. But creativity can be destructive; it destroys that which preceded it. At least that’s one aspect of it. Reinforcement, if it has a role to play at all, is not that of leading us to the truth.
I don’t say that I’ve worked any of this out but only strive here to try and give you some food for thought.
If I have time later today, I’ll throw up on my blog a small passage about the bodhisattva.
Sincerely and best wishes,
Matt Dioguardi
“And then, in the blowing clouds, she saw a band of faint iridescence colouring in faint colours a portion of the hill. And forgetting startled, she looked for the hovering colour and saw a rainbow forming itself. In one place it gleamed fiercely, and, her heart anguished with hope, she sought the shadow of iris where the bow should be.”
From D. H. Lawrence’s The Rainbow.