Less his dreams should escape him
less his hopes should desert him
he shuffled them all together
and neatly put them in a box
he sealed the top carefully
and wrapped it all up nicely
he hid his boxed dreams with great secretiveness
in a place where no one would ever find them
but where that place was
still as of yet
he has not remembered.
– matt at shadow of iris
Could do with a bit of punctuation, but Oh I like this one, you.
God man you’re killin’ me here lately. You’re really on a roll, IMHO. Punctuation is not really my strong point but I’m guessing that SarahA is probably correct. Maybe a comma after “still” and a couple” ‘ ” in front of the Lesses?:) Beautiful piece. I pray it is only slightly autobiographical.
There may have been a comma or two when I first wrote this. I don’t remember. Thank you for the comments.